My Ex-Girlfriend Married a Woman
Cyberstalking an ex-girlfriend can be extremely therapeutic when she’s fat, boring or in rehab. The only problem is when she’s hot, successful and married … to another woman.
“I have something I need to tell you,” Bethany told me four years ago over the phone.
Nothing positive ever follows that statement. No woman will ever say, “I have something I need to tell you … I’ve invented whiskey that cures impotence.” And that’s not just because women are crappy inventors.
Knowing ill-fate awaited, I met Bethany at the coffee shop. What else could I do? Children realize they’re not going to Disneyland when the dentist’s office comes into view — but they still hold tight and hope ice cream will follow.